what if harry had been sorted into slytherin though
- sarcastic bastard and no need to pretend otherwise
- learning the names of people outside your immediate circle of friends??? please
- usually overdramatic, sometimes morally grey
- sirius having to deal with the fact that his godson is a slytherin. a slytherin. james potter’s son is in slytherin. remus can you believe this
- bezzies-by-circumstance with draco malfoy with all the highlights including a) earth-shattering fights, b) someone brazen enough to curb draco’s nastiness, and c) someone unimpressed enough to tell harry to get a fucking grip and stop being so self-righteous all the time potter you frilly whingebag
- (and a friendship with harry/draco reluctantly getting roped into his cause could have changed a whole buncha shit for the malfoys and all that Malfoy Joins the Order With Snape fic of ‘03-‘05 could have come true)
- speaking of, a head of house/student relationship with snape might have saved his character from being entirely reprehensible
- challenging the wizarding public’s views of slytherin house by pitting their ridiculous prejudices against their blind all-consuming love for/faith in harry
- quirrell was a ravenclaw and wormtail was a gryffindor [insert harry’s sarcastic one-liner about all the witches and wizards who went bad being in slytherin here]
- jkr putting her money where her mouth is re: “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us, it’s our choices who make us who we truly are” by putting the boy who lived and eventual saviour of the wizarding world in the ~evil house~
- or even better she could have established slytherin as the ~evil house~ and then dismantled that completely by showing harry surrounded by loving, caring people forced to choose between standing beside their friend harry or supporting voldemort’s/their parents’ cause
- harry’s group of friends torn in two by their parents’ ideology and their loyalty to harry and what they’ve seen to be true while sharing a home with hundreds of halfbloods and muggleborns
- and then members of slytherin house fighting tooth and nail against the people who raised them because harry potter just has that effect on people
- all resulting in an eventual about-face in people’s attitudes towards slytherins
- and when harry has kids they’re proud at the thought of being sorted into slytherin house because their dad was a slytherin and he saved the fucking world
AU where you’re a normal human until you hit puberty and you start turning into a monster.
Literally a monster. Like a harpie, a werewolf, a semi-snake (sorry forgot the name) or even a mermaid, a centaur, a vampire, a fawn, ect …
Like you get this very awkard phase between human and monster where you have only certain parts covered in fur or feathers and growing your werewolf teeth hurt like hell and learning to walk in all fours now. Growing mermaids suffocating in class cause they’re starting to need their water, growing vampires starting to take the night classes and wear sunglasses and umbrellas and gloves and hats on daytime. You think you’re the most awfull thing on Earth until you finally reach the end and everybody’s a fab monster. All the awkwardess of puberty. But with monsters.
oh man I need to draw this.
Carl telling us how (not) to science.
"conclusion: dinosaurs" is still my favorite rebuttal to just about anything tbh.
Second perhaps only to “Therefore: aliens”
I would have liked for there to be ferns and dinosaurs.
I don’t want to go to college but I also don’t want to NOT go to college
What I really want is to stop existing but you can’t do that without dying and I don’t want to die either
This is the most accurate post I have ever seen
RvBRedux | Episode 2: Red Gets a Delivery
Visit RvB Redux for more!
I’ve spent about three hours trying to record lines, just about everything interrupted me and now it’s lunch time.
The only things I’ve done today are shower and record lines.
Do you ever just want to go to Hogwarts?
Like, you don’t want to be a member of the trio, or the order, or a death eater.
You just want to go to the school.
You want to know what it feels like to be up late stressing over potions homework, or how it feels to really ride a broom, and just go to Hogwarts on a normal year as a normal student
all the time
"you can’t be asexual humans have an instinctual need to mate"
"lol r u plant do u reproduce by budding?"
"you just haven’t found the right person"
"have you see a doctor?"
"you’re just trapped in the closet"
"cool. wanna get pizza?"
"Girl Speaks Gibberish With Perfect Accents To Show What Languages Sound Like To Foreigners"
I love this?
I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHAT AMERICAN ENGLISH SOUNDS LIKE TO OTHER PEOPLE.
pretty accurate. That’s how russian sounds like to me. (Iz funny cos Im russian)
two things I assume everybody has extensive knowledge about
- harry potter
- high school musical
me: ah yes time to start my homework
me: *opens tumblr*
me: *watches 25 youtube tutorials*
me: *sings the entirety of bohemian rhapsody*
me: *rearranges room*
me: *reads les mis*
me: *watches every tom hiddleston interview on the internet*
me: *writes a novel*
me: *publishes novel*
me: *has novel made into 3 movies and a video game*
me: *takes the ring to mordor*
me: *defeats lord voldemort*
me: well its too late to start it now
im poor ill try it
ooohhh i have to try this
"…and he hasn’t been home in a few days"
Imagine if Sirius could have raised Harry and when he sent a howler to him in his second year for driving the car to school.
"I’M NOT EVEN MAD, I’M ACTUALLY IMPRESSED. MERLIN’S BLOODY BALLS I’M PROUD."
And Remus in the background “SIRIUS NO.”